This time last year, we were just about to the top of the highest roller coaster hill. The many months preceding had been the long drag to the top. Crazy outpatient surgery, major surgery, brief grace period, followed by monthly trips to Philadelphia for treatments, weekly blood tests, bad news, bad news, bad news. Click, click, click, click. Endured, adjusted to because to do otherwise would have seemed pessimistic.
Something of a last-ditch new treatment would start just after July 4. That was the very tippy-top of the hill. Who knew?
Who knew how fast the trip to the bottom would be? This time last year is vivid and a blur. Everything stands out. I don’t like to wear the clothes I wore last summer because they remind me of the hospital days.
We nursed optimism then to keep disbelief and panic at bay. We were surrounded by love and support.
At some point realism surfaced and I had to imagine some part of the future just to somehow prepare myself. I am somewhere in the middle of how I thought this would be. It’s kind of a badness scale. I made a good run at all of it early on. I had some momentum.
The kiddo had a good and calm school year, active and engaged. We did it.
Only in the last few months have I kind of lost my creative energy and sense of direction, feeling that important part of me grinding to a halt.
I think that going through some creative motions will help.
It can’t hurt.